The Lahore-Sialkot Motorway gang rape has stirred a conversation that starts every time such a tragedy happens in Pakistan. Usually, the social media, mostly Twitter initiates a conversation, two major factions from my society grab their weapons (mostly their keyboards) and start shooting in all directions. One section blames the victim while the other sides against the system and then without concluding the subject to its logical conclusion, it loses traction and dies. This would have unfortunately died down its due course but the CCPO Lahore gave it fuel by tingling feminism in the country. Basically, he was doing the same as the faction from my society that blames the victim; and as anyone would expect, the hell broke loose. Both feminism and rape are very serious subjects that I am ready to discuss as an individual Pakistani and want to bring both to their logical conclusion but the irrational behaviour from the stakeholders scares me.

Lahore-Sialkot Motorway rape was the third incident reported in Pakistan in the start if September. My heart aches on this incident but at the same time feels deeply sorry for the rape attempt in Pir Mahal of a 12 year minor by her stepdad. I am totally speechless on the kidnap, rape and torching of a small girl named Marwah from Karachi. Marwah was wrapped in two pieces of clothes and was thrown in a garbage heap by the killer. All of these incidents make me sick to the bone and there is not one I would side with and ignore the others. I’ve not forgotten how Zainab Ansari from Kasur initiated a conversation for children protection in the start of 2018 and how it took 2 years to pass the Zainab Alert bill finally in March of 2020. 

The idea of Aurat March (Woman March) is practical in Lahore but I challenge you to find such event in the neighbouring cities of Sheikhupura, Kasur and Gujranwala. For those of you that do not know, there was a JI backed Haya March (Decency March) instead in Gujranwala the same day only to denounce the allegedly beyhuda slogans of the actual Aurat March. Similarly, there was a huge crowd in Karachi and Hyderabad but did anyone hear about a march in Ghotki? Morro? Deirki maybe? Just so you know, there was another Haya March in Karachi, backed up by JI. Peshawar witnessed an International Working Women Day around the same day but could not title it “Aurat March” exactly because they knew Peshawar was not ready to accept the idea of getting rid of male patriarchy yet; there was a separate Haya March in the city to counter what they term as Bey hayayi (indecency).

The huge disparity in education in the real sense, and hence mindset is the root of these very systematic problems in Pakistan. It has caused polarisation in this society to levels unfamiliar to an average mind who has spent all their life in an urban environment. To elaborate, my grandparents originated from a village named Khurram in the Taxila Tehsil of Pakistan. My father lived most of his life in Taxila except for the 18 years of service he did out of city and mum in Wah Cantt. I grew up in Wah and moved to Lahore for education and later work. This history gave me some experience from all four of these localities. The only thing that I notice in all these experiences, to date, is how different they are in terms of average education of individuals making up these societies; less education, more conservation and hence deteriorated mind-set. I’m referring to these places as benchmarks only though I’ve had shorter experiences in rural Punjab, Sindh and KPK that reflect the same fact. The moment you’re out of the city of Lahore or for that matter, Karachi, Islamabad, the whole world flips upside down.

To put this in perspective, I have this perfect example from a week ago when I happened to be in Khurram (the village) and I, being a grown-ass man had to ask my mum if it was ok to leave home in the morning in shorts. It was definitely not because I was afraid anyone was going go harass me but only because I had my doubts in my mind if the natives would be comfortable with the idea of a full grown man in shorts; the mind-set. If I were in Taxila, I would still have my doubts but would probably wear them anyway and had I been in Wah or Lahore, I wouldn’t have asked at all. I cannot expect to have a conversation with someone in Khurram and expect replies that I would get from someone in Lahore because I understand the difference in both mind-sets.

My stress on mass general education as a solution to all the problems associated with the security and independence of women and children, is because in my opinion, this is the only way to brighten and broaden the horizons of our people and elevate their mind-set. Mobile and Internet has penetrated the farthest corners of our society; YouTube, TikTok and Facebook are three apps you will find on a huge number of devices. Yet a tiny segment of the general population is even aware of the cultures in Arab countries, Turkey, Malysia or Indonesia and the rest of them are still awestruck at Esra Biljic’s photos in crop tops and shorts. Most of them even schooled her on the way she dressed and preached her how she has to actually act modest like Halima Sultana (the character she is playing in Turkish Drama serial Ertugrul). It got so frustrating for her that she actually had to come out and ask people to unfollow her if they have trouble with the way she lives her life.

I remember watching a documentary on how Swedish schools were teaching sex education as a course for children starting as young as 3 years old, and how the whole idea has turned the small indigenous Swedish community into a safe haven for everyone and especially children. Statistically, the birth rate among 15-19 years old in UK was at 19.2 per 1000 women while that in Sweden was 5.2 per 1000 women (as per year 2015). I tried to initiate this conversation at home with my dad and the answer I got was that this society is not ready for such a change and Maulvi’s would have me killed rather then letting me propose this in the national curriculum. This conversation happened a while ago and I still believe it is only through education, we can uplift the mind-set of our people and maybe then, we can eradicate rape and converse about male patriarchy.

Update:

While I was writing this piece (about 48 hours since I’m a very slow thinker and hence writer), I read this piece where Imran Khan, the Prime Minister of Pakistan has given a statement that he will work for legislating chemical castration of offenders and I’m HAPPY! The mind-set is still an issue but a better legal process and punishments with a lasting impact will at least curb down on sexual violence. From the start of this round of conversation, where people were suggesting public hanging, lashes and in some cases stoning to death as punishments, I was not convinced because public hangings and lashes aren’t possible and simple death penalty hasn’t yet discouraged any such offender. Buy my, oh my! Castration should work perfect because if you ever got a chance to travel across GT Road or the National Highway, you sure as hell know how important is manhood in Pakistan.